Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Stuck In The Middle With Them

I was in a medical office today, sitting in the main lobby by the exit.

"Excuse me, do you mind helpin' a fella?" asked an elderly man, probably in his sixties, obese, with a cane.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"You see that gray Chevy Trailblazer out there?" he asked. I did not. "Would you go out there and tell my wife that the TIP of my CANE is somewhere in the CAR?" He lifts his red cane, and I do see that the tip is missing.

"Um, sure," I said.

I walked out to the parking lot, eventually finding the Trailblazer, and tapped on the passenger window. The elderly woman (lady hair, glasses) looked up, alarmed, and I figured I was about to become a Grannies With Guns story on the evening news.

She lowered the window a few inches, very carefully. "Yes?"

"Your husband asked me to tell you that the tip of his cane is in the car somewhere."

"Oh, thank you," she said, and she got out of the car and opened the back door to start looking.

"If you can find it, I'll take it in to him," I said.

She looked for no more than ten seconds, then turned to me. "Tell HIM that he must have left it in the HOUSE," she said.

I walked back inside.

"She said that you must have left it in the house," I said.

"I know it's in the CAR," he said. "When I left the HOUSE, the tip was clearly ON."

Within thirty seconds, his wife walked in and they argued for a while, then amiably walked out to the car.

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