Thursday, December 14, 2006

Eli 5.4: Out of Context (and In)

Out of context:
1. “Let’s buy her some lotion and a couple jewelries."

2. “Good one, Dad! I’m never taking a day off from not listening to my Dad.”

3. “Boy, I’m glad you didn’t leave after you egged me.”

4. “He’s going to prison? But I know him!”

5. “I have the technology for robotic power.”

6. "Now before I tell you about this, I didn't do it. I didn't touch anything."

Context:
1. One of Eli's teachers at school (who he really likes) is quite the kidder. And since Eli is only 5.4, sometimes he doesn't realize that she's kidding. So he told Gloria that Miss Sue said she wasn't getting any Christmas presents this year, and that he needed to get her a gift. “Let’s buy her some lotion and a couple jewelries," he said.

2. Gloria has these shoes she wears with a dangerous heel. I'm talking a pedestrian-crushing, Godzilla-stomping-on-Tokyo-skyscrapers heel.

Last week, she was gathering up her gear to go to the store, and she was wearing those shoes. Eli 5.4 and I were watching televisions.

We heard her before we saw her, because another thing about those shoes is that they're INCREDIBLY loud.

"Are you going outside?" I asked.

"I'm about to go to the store," she said.

"Warning: all squirrels and rabbits need to take cover," I said. "Animal crushing shoes are now activated. Hide for your own safety."

Eli cracked up. “Good one, Dad! I’m never taking a day off from not listening to my Dad,” he said.

"My thoughts exactly," Gloria said.

3. Gloria was explaining to Eli that one of the differences between lizards and dinosaurs is that after dinosaurs laid their eggs, they stayed to raise the babies, while lizards didn't. “Boy, I’m glad you didn’t leave after you egged me,” Eli said.

4. We were driving downtown on Saturday for the Trail of Tears Christmas Light Walk, and as we passed the CSC building I mentioned to Gloria that Computer Associates ex-CEO Sanjay Kumar (who tried to buy out CSC while Gloria was working there) was going to prison.

Eli said “He’s going to prison? But I know him!”

5. This was also when we were driving downtown on Saturday night. Sometimes Eli just gets bored and starts saying things at random.

Draw your parallels with this feature [HERE].

So we're all quiet for a few seconds as we're waiting at a stop light, then Eli says “I have the technology for robotic power.”

6. Somehow the upstairs bathroom door got locked. Again. Suspiciously, this only seems to happen when Eli 5.4 has just used the bathroom. He came walking down the stairs and said, "Now before I tell you about this, I didn't DO it. I didn't touch ANYTHING."

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