Friday, February 24, 2006

On the Couch

"Look at that," Gloria said. "I love to watch them."

"They are so tiny and so cute," I said. "Just like little porcelain dolls."

"And so lifelike," Gloria said. "Just look at how they move."

We're watching the Olympic figure skating finals.

"It's got to be hard," I said, as yet another skater touched ass to ice. "Little miniature people, skating in a huge arena filled with regular-sized people. No wonder they cry so much."

"I'd cry," Gloria said.

"I wonder if they have a wooden cutout of a figure skater that they have to stand against, and it says 'IF YOU WANT TO SKATE IN THE OLYMPICS, YOU CANNOT BE MORE THAN THIS HIGH.' "

On an unrelated note, having a TIVO contributes to total heartlessness. Somebody was doing their wacky footwork section, then skated across the ice in preparation for a jump. "She's skated eight hours a day since she was four," Gloria said, "and now she's in the Olympics. It's the greatest moment of her life."

At that moment, the skater fell. "Skip her," Gloria said.

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